A few thoughts

I'm going to go into work for a few hours tomorrow.  I was planning on going in today in the afternoon, but I over did it in the morning and ended up sleeping most of the afternoon.  I'm surprised how much energy it takes to heal! I feel pretty much like my old self again, except that I still have to baby my left leg.  The skin is very tight where they stitched it up and I'm paranoid I'm going to rip the stitches.  I'm actually well past the point of that being a danger, but I'm not taking any chances.  I also have to remember that although I'm getting my strength back, I'm not quite there yet :)

I have an appointment next Thursday with the surgeon.  He will be checking my leg to see how it's healing and we should have the sentinel node biopsy results by then.  No sense dwelling on it.  We'll find out when we find out.

I got the nicest email yesterday from Sandra, a very nice lady who works for Concordia Lutheran Seminary (the sem in Edmonton).  I met her in February when I went out there and got to have a nice long chat with her when we were out again in May.  Since then we've kept in touch, emailing back and forth a few times about a course that I was interested in taking.  Yesterday she emailed to let me know that the whole seminary is praying for me!  That is one of the nice things about belonging to a relatively small church body - you get  to know people and pretty soon you have this family stretching from one end of the country to the other.  I can't begin to tell you how much of a comfort and encouragement it is to know that there's this network of people all across Canada and the US that are praying for me.  It is very humbling.

My pastor came over for a visit this morning and he brought me Holy Communion.  We had a chat and he, of course, wanted to know how I'm doing, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually and emotionally. We talked and looked at pictures of Mearrik and then before he left he communed me.  If you've never had private communion before, it is a special experience.  It is almost like a "mini" Divine Service beginning with the Absolution, the Creed, the Lord's Prayer and other prayers and then the Service of the Sacrament.  Now, it is one thing to kneel at the communion rail and receive the Lord's body and blood and hear the pastor say "Take, eat, this is the true Body and Blood of the Lord, given and shed for you" and understand that "for you" is both for you personally, but also for the others kneeling there collectively.  When I receive communion at the altar, I am surrounded by my family and friends and |I am very conscious of the collective "for you-ness".  In fact, to receive communion side by side with a dear friend is something I cherish deeply.  I become acutely aware of the connection that we have to each other - connected through the Spirit, yes, but also connected physically to each other as the Lord Himself gives his very body and blood to us for strength and forgiveness.  But in private communion, it is the personal "for you-ness" that comes to the fore.  It is intensely personal and intimate to hear the pastor say "Anita, take, eat...take, drink..." and place his hands on my bowed head as he assures me that this is my Lord, who died for me and who rose again and promised that He would be with me to the very end of the age - and He is! - here in this common bread and wine, that He gives again and again to strengthen and preserve my faith.

In this current trial, He is not absent from me; he is present, as He promised he would be.  Not in some mystical, spiritual way, but really, physically here.  For me.  This is what keeps me going.