Two down

Second week of treatment - done!

Things that I am learning:

I am more than just a cancer patient.  In the first few weeks after diagnosis, the disease was all I could think about.  It was as if I had a big sign on my head that proclaimed to the world: I HAVE CANCER. It's scary, and it is easy to allow it to consume you if you let it.  I still dwell on it quite a bit, I admit, but I'm consciously trying not to let this disease define who I am.

The day of my surgery, I had a hymn going through my head over and over again:

God's own child, I gladly say it,  

I am baptized into Christ! 

He, because I could not pay it,

Gave my full redemption price. 

Do I need earth's treasure many?

I have one worth more than any

That brought me salvation free

Lasting to eternity!

I am baptized into Christ.

This is who I am. That is my true identity. I have cancer. No, I am baptized and this is what defines who I am. Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. ~ Romans 6:3-4  Through baptism, I have been united with Christ - I share in his suffering and death even as I share in his resurrection and glory.  This sin of cancer - for that is what it is: it is a perversion of the good and perfect body that God intended for his creation - was also nailed to the cross with the Saviour.  On the cross, Christ literally suffered and defeated this cancer that now lurks in my body.  It has already been dealt with, in the way that God chose to deal with all sin: through the Cross.

This is where I find my peace.  It's not simply knowing that I'm going to be taken care of in the hereafter - although that is good.   It is knowing day by day that the sufferings that I experience have already been dealt with, that they are not for nothing.  They are the price that Christ paid for my freedom and He paid it gladly, out of his tremendous love and mercy towards me.  This is very freeing.  It frees me to live not for myself - because I know that my life is in His - and allows me to live for others.

Right now I don't have much energy and what I can do for others is limited.  I am trying to accept that although I am indeed more than a cancer patient, being a "patient" is still my main vocation right now.  So I have been giving a lot of thought about how I can serve God and serve my neigbour in my present station. One of the obvious ways is to pray for and support my fellow chemo patients.  I am sure other opportunities to serve will present themselves.

I have made a "chemo buddy".  A nice lady who is undergoing the same treatment as I am for the same type of cancer.  Her mom and husband come with her each day and they have befriended me.  They have been so kind and their support has made a tremendous difference.  I look forward each day to talking and laughing with my new friends.  

Yesterday a dear friend accompanied me to treatment.  I hate asking others to come along - it is a lot to ask of someone.  It is a long day and it is not the easiest place to be.  Plus sitting there for hours is, well, boring!  But we made the best of it and managed to have a good time.  She treated me to a mini-manicure and we shared baby pictures (her twin niece and nephew/my grandson), talked and laughed.  It was a nice way to end the week.

Here is a charming rendition of "God's Own Child I Gladly Say It".  Enjoy!